Gymrat\’s Weblog

News from the world of muscle

You know you are a Bodybuilder when…

The Bodybuilding Professor, Roland S Persson, PhD, posted this amusing (and true) list of size troubles in his blog some weeks ago:

You know you have finally made it to bodybuilderdom and become quite muscle bound…

  • …when your shirt unintentionally bursts open the first time.
  • …when clothing shops do not have your sizes anymore.
  • …when unknown people ask how much you bench press.
  • …when people turn around in the street to stare at you.
  • …when you cannot scratch your neck.
  • …when the bar won’t come all the way down to your chest anymore.
  • …when you wear out pants in a matter of weeks because of inner thigh friction.
  • …when you cannot reach the opposite shoulder to shave.
  • …when you cannot undress a tight shirt without assistance.
  • …when your feet turn flat because of your weight.
  • …when your shopping cart is filled with as much as possible of a few things.
  • …when unknown men and women come running across the street asking to feel your arms.
  • …when your food bills exceed your clothing bills.
  • …when you have sacks or piles of tubs of protein visible in your kitchen.
  • …when you need to apply vaseline between your thighs when walking in shorts.
  • …when you have no choice but to wear gym clothes at work.
  • …when you must sleep on your back in bed.
  • …when sex in a bed from IKEA becomes doubtful.
  • …when you need two bus seats or aircraft seats when travelling.
  • …when you bring food and protein drinks with you at all times.
  • …when the table in front of you squeaks and cracks as you merely rest one arm on it.
  • …when people declare you a brainless musclehead but simultaneously can’t hide how much they want you for sex.
  • …when you no longer fit behind the steering wheel of European city traffic cars.
  • …when fellow passengers scream at the air stewardess: I don’t bloody want to sit next to HIM!
  • …when fellow professionals ask if you have added “bouncing” to your other qualifications.
  • …when you without thinking about it bounce your pex and flex your arms in public.
  • …when you change your sounds and vocabulary in the gym doing 600+ lbs squatting.
  • …when you spend a good part of the day in the bathroom … reading.
  • …when butt-whiping becomes an effort in terms of reach.
  • …when you shy away from the word “small”.
  • …when one of your turnons is muscle soreness.
  • …when you know more about physiology and pharmacology than your family doctor.
  • …when food becomes function rather than pleasure.
  • …when your shadow provides sunshelter for at least two people.
  • …when you can’t help looking like jumbojet taking off with lats forcing your arms outwards.
  • …when you have to go through many doors sideways and can give up the thought of heeding Nature’s Call on board an aircraft or a train.
  • …when you walk like you have wet yourself.

July 29, 2006 - Posted by | Blogroll, Bodybuilding, Humor

1 Comment »

  1. Very nice.. when stalls in a public bathroom are too narrow, and when in a crowded movie theater you have to lean forward for 2 hours to watch the movie..

    Comment by Jason Drohn | July 29, 2006 | Reply


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