Gymrat\’s Weblog

News from the world of muscle

You know you are a Figure Competitor when…

Via several forums and blogs:

  1. For a few days each year your toilet seat is brown and this time it aint the husbands fault.
  2. You can honestly say you have spent more on a bathing suit than your wedding dress.
  3. Six inch clear hooker heels is your footwear of choice in your own home (and not just in the bedroom).
  4. Someone asks about the man in your life and you tell that Gym is fine!
  5. You have two sections in your wardrobe. Contest and Offseason. And they arent mix and match. (Rae’s note: not with my coach it isn’t… there is no off-season… LOL!!)
  6. Your top three priorities on any given day:
    A. Workout.
    B. Eat. Clean.
    C. Check the fitness forum board.
    Not necessarily in that order.
  7. You can name any pro figure competitor by seeing her butt alone.
  8. When someone wants to take your picture, you immediately spread your lats, tighten every muscle in your body, point your fingers and SMILE!
  9. You take more pills daily than your 80 year old grandmother.
  10. Your idea of dressing up is taking your hair out of the pony tail its been in for a week.
  11. If you have had someone close to you, hide food from you in your own house.
  12. An easy day is lifting and only 1 cardio session.
  13. Instead of carrying a Gucci pursue you accessorize with a Coleman cooler.
  14. Waking up so sore you can barely move puts a smile on your face.
  15. You cant do any work because you are to busy counting down the seconds until your next meal!!!!!!!!!
  16. The faint smell of Pro Tan gets your heart pumping faster than your man’s cologne.
  17. You leave a little trail of Splenda packets, tupperware, and empty water bottles everywhere you go.
  18. Your hubby makes you pee in the guest bathroom because every meal includes asparagus.
  19. You consider Beano an essential part of your supplement regimen.
  20. Your jaws are sore because you can’t stop chewing sugar free gum!
  21. You spend at least 5 minutes grilling your server at arestaurant, and another five minutes re-writing the menu until you’ve got a meal that meets your diet’s specifications…and then you devour it in less than 60 seconds flat!!
  22. You consider a day when you only have to make ONE trip to the gym a luxury!
  23. You think about having “relaxed hands” and sticking your butt out while standing in line at the grocery store. (Hey, a girl’s gotta practice her posing!!!)
  24. You consider condiments and diet coke taboo!!!
  25. And…your neighbors start gossiping that you’ve had lipo cause there is no way a girl could get that fit in 12 weeks!

July 29, 2006 - Posted by | Figure, Humor


  1. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time!!! That is soooo true!!!!!!!!! I’m a body builder not Figure but it’s the same thing. Thanks for the laugh!

    Comment by keli | July 29, 2006 | Reply

  2. This is so true! I love this.

    Comment by Diane Whetstone | June 11, 2011 | Reply

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